Harvard's Election 2008 Blog

I retract my previous statements. Thanks to Barack Obama's Speech of a Lifetime, which claims that all young people should be forced into slave labor (aka "peace corps") and that anyone who succeeds in America should be taxed to death just for nebulously falling into an "elite" of people that work for what they want- I'm back 100% with Bob Barr. Not because I like Bob Barr or anything- he's kind of annoying, to be honest. But because I've been kicked out of my former party by racist neo-cons and refuse to debase myself by running into the hands of the people that stole my family's wealth, hard work, and culture in a land merely 90 miles away.

These policies are the worst. Well, the few bits of speech that were policy, anyway. And because Obama is so incredibly gifted, I didn't just feel alienated from the Democratic Party, of which I've never felt a part of- I felt alienated from America.

 What if I appreciate George W. Bush for preventing terrorist attacks post-9/11, and for standing up against Putin strongly despite being personal friends?

 What if I don't trust the government with my retirement, and would rather social security not be a part of it?

What if I don't like taxes, and know better than to believe a Democrat who says he'll lower them?

What if I understand that unions are essentially mafias that brainwash and arm-twist their political beliefs upon the ignorant, and that the benefits of defending them outweigh the costs?

 What if, being a resident of one of the greatest victim cities of illegal immigration, I want foreign criminals out of my country? Surely America doesn't need to outsource crime, too?

 Nope, guess I'm not a part of America anymore.

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Sorry for showing up a little late to comment on the Joe Biden speech, but I spent the aftermath of the speech sobbing hysterically and then woke up in tears only to begin thesis research. Thanks, Joe.

But before I get to that, I should address Sam's last post on Hillary's speech, in which he brings up the "I guess I should mention Obama and get myself out of trouble" part of the speech. I agree that that was tactfully written and, on paper, an extremely moving use of rhetoric. Maybe I'm just biased, or maybe Hillary has lost her touch and it's painfully obvious how much she wants Obama to lose so she can run in 2012. Again, I realize I am a new convert to the Obama center-left, and I may be blinded by previous prejudice, but there was something in her tone that I just didn't buy.

Same with Bill Clinton's speech. The words were there on paper. They were spoken, and they reached my ears. But perhaps due to the past- Whitewater, Rwanda, Kosovo, Monica Lewinsky, Bosnia sniper fire- no words could possibly convince me that they're being sincere, or that they are capable of such.

And nothing made the former president's sneering cynicism clearer than the purity of message in the act following him- Vice President Joe Biden and his family. Introduced by his son Beau in one of the most eloquent and appreciative expressions of respect between father and son that has ever graced the political world (take that, Luke Russert), Biden made politics about family. His speech was about love, about dignity, about all those values that I've been voting Republican for all these (two) years. Only a cold heart could have not felt moved by his resilience and call for the same from his nation.

But all this fits perfectly into the image we had of Obama's campaign before. Romantic visions of a loving, peaceful America are nothing new to the New Democrats. What really made Biden's speech golden- and what solidified my support for the Obama-Biden ticket and that of many other distraught libertarians with foreign policy concerns, is the following excerpt:

In recent days, we've once again seen the consequences of this neglect with Russia's challenge to the free and democratic country of Georgia. Barack Obama and I will end this neglect. We will hold Russia accountable for its actions, and we'll help the people of Georgia rebuild.

I've been on the ground in Georgia, Iraq, Pakistan and Afghanistan, and I can tell you in no uncertain terms: this administration's policy has been an abject failure. America cannot afford four more years of this.

The reaffirmation of the Russian superpower is the greatest threat America has seen since the Cold War. Yes, 9/11 was atrocious and will live forever in infamy in our memories (especially for those of us that were right across the river when the planes crashed in), but the culprits of those crimes are disorganized and weak, splintered by the brilliant work that everyone refuses to acknowledge the Bush administration did. Joe Biden's response to this threat is to stand up to Russia, to promise that he will only take diplomacy so far- as far as possible and not an inch more.

John McCain's response? Sending Cindy over to Georgia with freshl-baked cookies, or whatever it is women do.

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"Me, me, me, I guess I should mention Barack Obama, me, me, me, Harriet Tubman"

Good job with the party unity there, Hillary. Really selfless speech, there.

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I should preface this experience by noting how much irrational loathing I have for that antiquated communication device that is the telephone. It is loud, obnoxious, makes your ears sweat, and requires undivided attention for use. It has been obsolete ever since Al Gore invented the internet, and my blood usually boils whenever I am forced to use it. I have broken my fair share of cell phones due to various circumstances, but all have been via the smashing of the phone against a wall. Text messages are not exempt from this hatred- they cost 10¢ each and take way to long to write. Not to mention that they cost 10¢, and I am stingy.

So imagine how disgruntled I was when I found out that America's next president was a fan of this shameful form of communication- so much so that he was announcing his Veep via text message? Well, actually, I was a bit amused at the time. And I am compelled to tell my story, especially after a bit of conjecture by the Harvard Dems (yes, I belong to their email list) regarding the matter, where one loyal member defined the question of our generation as "Where were you when the text was sent?"

Before I start, let me state for the record that our generation classifies texts in the following categories: any text received during the day is simply a txt; any received between the hours of 11:30 PM and 2 AM is a "drunken txt", and anything after that but before dawn is a "booty txt". There is no need to explain why.

So, back to the matter at hand: where was I when Barack Obama booty txted all of America? Well, given that the text was sent at 3:30 AM, I was soundly asleep, enjoying a very pleasant dream where I was lying on a beach in Greece, listening to Elena Paparizou and feeling the sun burn my back as I sipped a strawberry daiquiri. Now, friends, going from life in mega-urban New Jersey to the wonderful shores of Ellas is truly change I can believe in, but the only change that came to me was the change from the peaceful purring of Mediterranean breeze to the obnoxious vibrating beep of my cell phone. The wretched communication instrument refused to slience until it had my undivided attention. I opened it reluctantly to see I had a message from "62262"- the numerical equivalent of the letters "Obama"- and there it was: "Barack has chosen Senator Joe Biden to be our VP nominee."

Really??

At first I thought this was a prank. Surely the real Barack Obama wouldn't wake up all his supporters (yes, all his supporters are in the Eastern time zone) at 3 AM to tell them something that MSNBC had been saying for weeks. Plus, isn't Joe Biden racist or something? I didn't know- he was always too boring to investigate. Either way, someone was getting a nasty email tomorrow when I woke up and got a real Obama text saying Evan Bayh was the real pick.

But then I went back to sleep and woke up to the same exact news as last night. I even got this wonderful begging email!

I don't even have a driver's license- what do I want a car magnet for?

That was my full testimonial of the epic Barack Obama text-message stunt. And, in terms of serious political analysis, I give it a mixed review. The fact that news agencies were announcing the truth hours before the text was sent out would lose Obama swing votes that were awake at the time and feel deceived. Those that were asleep, like myself, were angered that Obama had the nerve to wake them from their sleep to tell them something that Biden himself had said was untrue all of last week. He started off his full-ticket campaign on a lie. And that, after the Iraq War debacle, doesn't really sound like change at all. Neither does putting a 35-year career senator on your ticket.

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